why dont you have a diaper and wipe ready?

big dumb white bear

stains abound with hair so fair

first the walrus blood all over the place

soon to you will have poop on your face

if only you read the useful baby books

you could have saved your handsome looks

now all the girls bears see the unfit dad

and you will be covered in a smell so bad

yeah, i like drawing bears more than babies.

yeah, i like drawing bears more than babies.

teething face

its sad and pitiful till the lights are out, then it becomes a terror

its sad and pitiful till the lights are out, then it becomes a terror

she has a way to lure you in

alligator tears make your anger a sin

you promise to fix it and take the pain away

the cute little face you love during the day

but then the dark of night comes around

when you and the wife would like less sound

that’s when she shows how she loves you

by being a moaner and yeller till two

you let her sleep in your bed

she kicks you in the head

but he next morning with less than 4 hours shuteye

she puts on the sweet face and restarts the lie

If you were a rich man

If you were to find yourself one day

To have such a very long driveway

That “leaves of three, leave it be”

Helps you avoid all the poison ivy

On your cart ride to get the mail

Past your garage filled with boats that sail

through your maze of hedges so tall

around your pond and field for baseball

over your runway for landing your jet

and all the sherpas you got from Tibet

just remember when i lent you that dollar

don’t get stingy when i give you a holler.

get a job hippie!

the guy with the dreds asking for money

he had a young healthy body, his prospects sunny.

choose to work and be productive he did not

instead he asks for what others have bought.

earned not a nickel, a quarter a lick

and if you have, he will call you a dick.

he says he does not want to give in to “the man”

but really he’s being as lazy as he can.

“i dont take welfare, so im outside the control.”

too bad you still suck life from those with a soul.

they work so hard every day on this earth

not just for money but to prove their worth.

you with the dreds, you think you’re so cool

but really everyone knows your a fool.